On the one hand, Dos Equis fucked up last Wednesday night. On the other hand, it was a free corporate event, so what did you expect?

By now, we've all seen the ubiquitous TV spots and billboard ads featuring a salt-n-pepper-bearded, expensive-suit-wearing gentleman known only as "The Most Interesting Man In The World". It's a genius bit of marketing: Did you know that his beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man's body? Or that his blood smells like cologne? And my personal favorite: He once had an awkward moment... just to see how it felt. Dos Equis essentially co-opted the concept behind the Chuck Norris Facts internet meme (example: "If you have five dollars, and Chuck Norris has five dollars, he has more money than you") and used it to make themselves the cool kids of the beer world. And it worked. So what was the next logical step for Dos Equis? Throwing huge hipster parties in isolated castles (yes, castles) that require mass bus transit and air-tight organizational skills, of course.

The event, called The Most Interesting Academy, was pitched as a decadent dance party at Falkenstein Castle (about 50 miles west of Austin). The idea sounded like a bust from the beginning: Driving an hour out of Austin on a Wednesday for a corporate circle-jerk featuring edible bugs, free haircuts, and music by Z-Trip (you know... the DJ who did that one song with the whiny screamer guy from Linkin Park). But what do I know? The event drew 1,792 RSVPers on the concert/event calendar site Do512.

Fast-forward to last Wednesday. Some of my friends who got in said the party was awesome. But that's just it: Not everyone who RSVPed was allowed into the shindig. There were three buses scheduled to pick up RSVPers from Waterloo Park. Departure times were stacked as follows: 5pm, 6pm, and 8pm. But apparently, all three buses left at 5, with another bus being added later. It became a huge clusterfuck and the kids were restless. Check out this Youtube video shot by blogger Matt Reyes:



Local blog TwoGroove reports that only about 800 of the almost 1,800 RSVPers made it into Falkenstein Castle, while hundreds of others waited in line for hours, only to be told to leave.

The denied partiers were livid, posting tweets about how Dos Equis is the worst beer ever. Sure Dos Equis is a tasteless watery product, but this hyperbole was coming from people who hours earlier were talking about how great Dos Equis is. And then someone started a Facebook group about the disastrous organization of the event, complete with contact info for letting the higher-ups know about your disappointment.

If you read all that, great. This is what I really want to say about it: Yeah, it sucks that the event was so disorganized and many people felt betrayed. BUT this event was FUCKING FREE. And yet I'm seeing people write about it on Do512, Facebook, Twitter, and the blogosphere as if they'd paid $1,000 to see Michael Jackson live for the last time, only to have him drop dead.

Get some perspective, folks! Be leery of Corporate America making grand promises, especially when they're trying to be cool and with it (The Dos Equis brand is owned by Heineken USA, by the way). They will fuck up. It's embedded in the DNA of large faceless corporations to lack a personal touch and a sense of treating people with dignity.

Is your life that shallow that the greatest betrayal you can feel is that of a castle party invitation gone awry? You'll be partying in Austin this weekend anyway, right? People are talking about class action lawsuits on the Most Interesting Academy's Do512 event page. Seriously. I can't imagine my grandpa suing over a free event in which the greatest damage suffered was to his frail ego.

Secondly, Dos Equis does suck. It's not a good beer. Not because they ruined your Wednesday, but because it just lacks the fullness and flavor of a proper beer. I could always understand drinking Lone Star or High Life because you're broke and thirsty, but Dos Equis is just as bad and costs more. At least with Lone Star, you're supporting a local business (it's based in San Antonio). But if going local is your thing, drink Shiner, Real Ale, Independence, or 512 Brewing.

But if you want to stick with Mexican booze, Negra Modelo is the only imported Mexican beer in the States worth drinking. It's the only beer I'll order at a Tex-Mex restaurant. It's full and delicious and not hard to drink, like some other good full-bodied beers can be. The ad industry magazine Advertising Age reports that sales of Dos Equis rose 17% last year while sales of other imports dropped, due in big part to the Interesting Man capaign. I know we're all sheep when it comes to consuming. It's bared out all the time. For once, choose a beer based on taste and not on cool factor. God, don't even get me started on Pabst Blue Ribbon. That's a rant for another day.

So, yeah. Basically, heal your emotional wounds like an adult. Stop whining about not getting to do something that was free and not guaranteed. And start drinking real beer. Taking those two steps will actually ensure that you're on your way to becoming an interesting individual, more so than had you just attended some corporate castle party. As my old Texas hold 'em buddies used to say whilst turning over their hands after a successful bluff: "You got duped." Now move on with your life.

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